Dealing with Conflict

Any situation where you live, work, and collaborate with others is susceptible to conflict. As a musician or composer, you will have professional relationships with many different personalities, with diverse opinions and daily lives and discord is bound to occur. To navigate it, it’s crucial to understand why it arises and your options for resolving it.

Common reasons for conflict include: 

• Misunderstandings or poor communication skills 

• Differing opinions, viewpoints, or personalities 

• Biases or stereotypes 

• Variations in learning or processing styles 

• Perceptions of unfairness 

• Lack of clear frameworks to manage differences of opinion 

What to do in the moment of conflict 

When a conflict arises, take a step back to thoroughly understand the issues at hand. Listen actively to the other party’s concerns without interrupting. This shows respect and can often reveal the root cause of the disagreement. Once you have a clear picture, articulate your own perspective in a calm and rational manner. Remember, the goal is not to win an argument but to find a mutually acceptable solution that maintains the business relationship. 

Clear communication is the cornerstone of conflict resolution. Articulate your thoughts and feelings without assigning blame or getting defensive. Use “I” statements to express how the situation affects you personally, which can prevent the other party from feeling attacked. Ensure that you understand each other’s points by summarising what you’ve heard and asking for clarification if needed.  

Setting clear boundaries is crucial in preventing and managing conflicts. Define the scope of work, deadlines, and payment terms upfront to avoid misunderstandings later on. If a conflict does arise, refer back to these agreed-upon terms. Be firm yet respectful in enforcing your boundaries, as this will help maintain professional integrity and prevent similar issues in the future. 

Focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the problem. Brainstorm possible outcomes that would satisfy both parties and be open to compromise. The key is to approach the situation with a problem-solving mindset and a willingness to adapt. 

Throughout any conflict, it is important to maintain professionalism. This means controlling your emotions, being respectful, and keeping the conversation focused on business objectives. Avoid personal attacks or emotional outbursts, as they can damage your reputation and the relationship. By staying professional, you demonstrate your commitment to resolving the issue and maintaining a positive working environment. 

With so much collaboration in creative work, there will be times when you experience conflict with those you’re working with.

It can be helpful to work out whether the conflict you’re experiencing is about the task itself (‘creative differences’) or is more relationship based. Studies have shown that task conflict can be beneficial for performance, whereas relationship conflict can have a negative impact on co-worker trust. If you experience task conflict, try to keep things constructive and focused on the work itself without escalating into a personal conflict too. 

In challenging conflict situations, it is very helpful to be able to balance your emotions and express them appropriately. Emotion Regulation (ER) has been defined as “the ways individuals influence which emotions they have, when they have them, and how they experience and express these emotions” (Gross, 1999b, p. 557). 

This helps to maintain balance, ensuring that emotions do not overwhelm or disrupt our day-to-day functioning (McRae & Gross, 2020). 

Healthy emotion regulation is built on a foundation of three key factors (Naragon-Gainey et al., 2017): 

• Being able to disengage from the intensity of the emotion 

• Being able to interrupt the cycle of rumination 

• Being able to reengage with the situation adaptively 

The following examples of healthy emotion regulation can be helpful:

1. Reframing negative thoughts 
   When faced with a challenging situation, rather than catastrophizing, reframe the event to focus on the learning opportunity or silver lining  
2. Acceptance and mindfulness 
   In moments of intense stress, practice acceptance and mindfulness to calm the nervous system and regain emotional equilibrium  
3. Take a break 
   Recognize when an emotion such as anger is escalating. Temporarily remove yourself from the situation to cool down before responding 
4. Express emotions constructively 
   Use calm, assertive communication to express feelings appropriately instead of bottling them up or lashing out 
5. Problem-solving 
   Instead of ruminating on negative feelings, identify actionable steps to address the root cause of the emotion

Ugne’s research into Emotional Regulation Techniques in Self-Regulated Learning for musicians suggests that including emotion regulation in educational institutions and workplaces can support musical achievement. 

Although conflict is common, many don’t feel comfortable handling it—especially with colleagues. While there are several approaches to conflict, some can be more effective than others.

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model—developed by Dr. Kenneth W. Thomas and Dr. Ralph H. Kilmann—outlines five strategies for conflict resolution: 

1. Avoiding 
2. Competing 
3. Accommodating 
4. Compromising 
5. Collaborating 

These fall on a graph, with assertiveness on the y-axis and cooperativeness on the x-axis. In the Thomas-Kilmann model, “assertiveness” refers to the extent to which you try to reach your own goal, and “cooperativeness” is the extent to which you try to satisfy the other party’s goal.